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Why you should go to war

by | Nov 17, 2009 | Shift

How much do you want to avoid war and conflict? Can you spend your entire life in peace, not raising your voice, not crushing anything nor anyone? Do you even want to?

It is only in recent years that most societies started to despise or demonize war. Most major civilizations in history valued war as a noble activity. It was depicted an a way to exercise courage, bravery, loyalty, respect and more.

Men are at war with each other because each man is at war with himself.
Francis Meehan

I’m not advising you should go to war with your neighbor (after all, he’s taking care of your dogs when you’re away), but maybe you should reconsider war as a valuable activity, especially the ones within yourself. Depending on the circumstances, going go war might be the best thing you can do.

I have never advocated war except as a means of peace.
Ulysses S. Grant

Struggle of Wills

According to Carl Von Clausewitz, war is a “struggle of wills”. According to me, it’s a learning experience, an opportunity to be better. Not better than an enemy, but better than oneself (some will argue that oneself is usually one’s worst enemy, but I digress).

An internal war is visible as an internal conflict. Maybe you want something but you can’t have it. Or you struggle with a choice, a job, or a relationship. Basically, you desire a life that’s different from the one that you have.

You have two choices. You can either whine and hope to be rescued, or you can…

Fight to win

Why don’t you want to do what you know you should do? The reason you don’t is that you are in conflict with yourself.
Tom Hopkins

When you have a problem that you want to solve, your mind automatically steps up and go into problem-solving mode in order to find a solution. If it works, great, you won! If it doesn’t, well… a new war begins.

What does all that mean? That your ways may have been good before, but they’re not anymore. The war calls to you and allows you to grow. You work to solve the problem, so you can exercise your muscles, whatever they are. Maybe you need more courage to fight head on with the enemy, maybe you need to learn more about your subject, maybe you need to call up the whole Scooby gang to win the war.

In any case, if it pushes you out of your usual ways, it will most certainly help you grow.

If everything is always right, you never grow. Why do you think monopolies stop innovating? Because they don’t have to! And when corporations are challenged by competition, the whole system benefits. That is the same inside one’s mind.

Fight to lose

Now, you might not want to go to war, it’s scary, and you might die.

A part of you anyway. The old one. The one you don’t need any more. The part that represents who you were, the one you’re desperately holding on to. That’s how you keep yourself from changing. But once you’re on the battlefield, you realize that some things aren’t that important anymore, they don’t serve you, so you transition to a new state of being. You test the limits of your beliefs, actions and habits. And you can become a better you.

Get angry

Use the anger! The anger is what gives you the strength to make changes you’re afraid to make. When you can’t really stand your situation, you do anything necessary to change it. You summon all the energy and resources you have to modify the circumstances.

But you have to channel that energy in a constructive way: destroy only what truly isn’t good for you, like your limiting beliefs, not other people or yourself. Once you’re free of these old limits, let the desire to build take over, decide what your life is gonna look like and start to make it happen.

Every conflict is an opportunity

Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.
William Ellery Channing

Have you ever noticed that the most caring people were the ones who had the hardest time in life? They had to fight to live, and that experience made them grow. You can be a victim and suffer all your life, or you can be a hero and step up. You can use your potential, or let is go to waste.

Whatever you decide, the fight will come to you eventually, so you’d better accept war as a gift rather than a curse.

What’s your next fight?

I’ve been travelin’ on this road too long

by | Oct 20, 2009 | Shift

I’ve been travelin’ on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone
And oh (eyyy)
I’ve been travelin’ on this road too long (too long)
Just tryna find my way back home (back home)
The old me is dead and gone, dead and gone, dead and gone

Lyrics from Dead and Gone by T.I.

Dead End
photo credit: geishaboy500

We’ve all chosen different paths because of situations, opportunities, courage and fear. And we’ve all been traveling a path that’s not ours, because of habits and constraints we decided to conform to. But in every life, at one sacred point, there’s a little voice that shouts:

What the hell are you doing?

It can be because of a workshop, a song, a conversation, a person doing exactly what you want, a layoff, an accident, almost anything that can shake you. All the frustration accumulated over the years brought you to the edge. Then you realize “that’s not what I want, that’s not who am I”. You can’t help yourself thinking about it, and if you’re courageous enough, you also start taking actions.

Time to think

It’s not that important, I can’t do it anyway, it’s too difficult.

But it IS important, and I CAN do it, if I really want to. But I have to make some changes.

Maybe you have to change your job, your relationships or take some classes. Whatever you feel or know has to happen for you, accept that. It is going to be hard, otherwise you’d have done it way earlier, but it is also vital. Be completely clear with that.

Time to act

There are basically two things you have to do:

  • Disconnect from what conflicts with your dream
  • Start traveling on the road leading to your goals

That means saying no to any optional commitment on your old path. You’re probably used to saying yes to anything that you think might be good for your career, finances or relationship, thinking it will bring you closer to happiness. It won’t.

Saying yes to things you don’t really want or like is a waste of time and energy that could be used to build something much more meaningful and fulfilling. Once you acknowledge that fact, you can start with a small step, maybe don’t go for a drink with your colleagues tonight, and take a walk in a park, or go explore the possibilities that excite you. When you accept your situation, you will come to the conclusion that your old you has to disappear and make space for the “new”, real, you. It is a process that has to happen. Let it take the time it needs, but don’t simply sit on your ass until it does.

The other part of the equation is to actively start researching new commitments, relationships, opportunities that will mechanically move you forward on your new path. The simplest is usually to take a class to learn a new skill, because it will commit you to that path, as well as allowing you to meet new people who will strengthen your connections to that path. But if classes are not your thing, the Internet is full of communities that can give you the knowledge and connections that will push you forward, you just need to stop identifying yourself as your old you, accept who you are right now, and start feeling who the future you, the one home, is.

An example: losing weight

Let’s say you want to loose weight and improve your health.

First, disconnect from your old patterns: lay low on the donuts and snack eating in front of the TV (you know you do it).

Second, go to the gym (or elsewhere where you can exercise and meet people), and start connecting with people there. These connections will pull you in the direction of your goal. The more you hang out with people already doing what you want, the more you’ll be comfortable on that path.

Home

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it.

George Moore

What is home? Home is who you are deep inside, once you’ve removed all the habits and constraints. Home is when the person you are on the outside is exactly the same as the person you really are deep inside. Home is when you do what you love. Home is when everything seems natural and easy. You can fight to stay on your old path, or work to build the path back home.

I’m heading back home, where are you heading to?