I assume you’re not here cause you like my beautiful blue eyes (they’re brown, by the way), so my guess is that you want to improve your life, be more passionate, and ultimately, be a better you (and if not, why are you here?). That’s a very noble cause, especially since by improving yourself, you improve the world.
But where to look? Maybe you’ve been at it for years and came to a stall, not knowing what to do next, or maybe you just made the decision (congrats!), and don’t know where to start.
In both cases, it is time to get back to the beginnings.
Are you a good you?
I’m not asking whether you’re good or evil, but whether you make a good representation for who you really are.
If you’re a salesman for GM, and when nobody’s looking, all you want is drive a Toyota, you’re not being congruent with yourself.
Getting to the foundations
It’s not so much about what you desire than it is about uncovering the diamond inside you, polishing it, and allowing it to shine.
Follow these steps and I guarantee you’ll be a better you (or you get your money back!)
1. Be open to change
The first thing to do if you want to be better, is accepting change. Change within yourself, but also change outside, in the environment, the people around you. If you don’t allow them to change, how are you going to allow yourself to change?
2. Reevaluate everything
What are you (too) used to? You’ve been doing lots of the same things for years, are you willing to reevaluate them?
That could be your relationship with your parents, your partner, your beliefs, religious, social, financial, anything that you take for granted, ask “why?” over and over again, until you get to the root of the belief. Once you are there, accept it for what it is: a construct, and decide whether it serves you enough to keep it.
3. Help someone you know
Help someone you don’t usually help, someone that you know could use a hand. Simply pick up the phone or walk up to them, and say “Hi, I know that you’re struggling a bit with _____ and I’d like to offer my help”. Don’t force the help, and don’t do it for a reward (even though it’ll come), you’ll remember how good it feels to help.
4. Help someone you don’t know
This one is easy and difficult at the same time, and there are different ways to go with it.
You could help an old lady carrying her groceries to her car, or offer a genuine compliment to a waiter, a salesman who helped you, or simply someone on the street or at work who looks like they could use something to cheer them up.
If that’s too difficult for you because you can’t see anyone you could help, look closer, if you’re too shy, go to your local charity and ask what you can do to help, they’ll give you a structure.
5. Tell people you care (about them)
When was the last time you told your friends and family you cared about them? It’s easy sometimes to take people for granted, especially the ones close to us. But every once in a while I tell my friends that I appreciate seeing them and having them around. If anything, it’ll remind you that you do care.
6. Try something new
Look at some activity that you’ve never tried before, and go on a ride. Open your eyes and look at every thing that the pro take for granted, but that is new for you, it will help you to recognize and reevaluate the patterns you follow, as well as simply discover something.
7. Try something old
Do something you used to do, as if it was the first time: discover everything again, how it works, how it feels, what you like and dislike about it. You’ll get a better understanding of who you are, how you function, and why you do what you do.
8. Ask people what they’d change about you
Now, it’s tricky, you should ask someone you trust, and when you have an honest answer, accept it for what it is: a perfectly valid view of what you are to people. Then ask yourself whether it resonates with you. If yes, come up with a way to change that trait about you. If no, put it in a corner of your mind for later reevaluation, maybe it’s not time.
9. Express what you want
Don’t expect people, and that includes your significant other as well as your friends and boss, to guess what you want. There’s no use in being hurt or mad at people who you think should know what you want. Just tell them, and don’t forget to mention why they should give you exactly that, or you might never get it.
10. Do what you want
If there is something you want but haven’t been doing for whatever reason, you can be truer to yourself and take the first step towards doing it. Even better if you can, simply go forward all the way and do it. That will make you more congruent with who you are, so you’ll be a better you.
Put below in the comment what’s your favorite way to become a better you, others will be grateful for it.