Last time I wrote about the success mindset and why, if you actually want to succeed, it’s not the brightest idea to think about all the potential for failure. If you haven’t read it yet, go check it out. But before you say anything, let me tell you: there is nothing inherently bad about failure. Let’s start from the beginning.. What is failure? Failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success. Wikipedia Yeah, it looks bad. Nobody likes not meeting a desirable or intended objective, otherwise it definitely wouldn’t be intended, and if it’s desirable, then not meeting it, well.. isn’t. But what failure is isn’t the problem, what failure entails is. The consequences of failure Failure has bad press, most people associate failure with really nasty stuff, such as: shame rejection loss unfulfilled expectations broken promises anger devaluation of one’s self I’m pretty sure you associate failure with at least part of this list. So you try your best to avoid failure, to the point that, sometimes, it means not trying. Failure is success! According to common belief, failure is the opposite of success.. But did you ever think about all the other side-effects of failure: learning what to do and what not to do to obtain a certain result having new ideas of semi-related or completely unrelated projects getting an opportunity to change your path and try something new enjoying the journey itself…

When was the last time you decided it was ok to give up? Not your dreams, not who you are. But anything and everything else. Whatever does not serve you, that you keep because you feel constrained or obliged to. Your painful relationships, your resentment, the need for power, the pressure to earn and buy more. Being “a nice person”, doing what you do because it’s what you always did, the labels you mistake for who you are. The goals forced upon you by your parents, your peers, your friends, your spouse. The need to please and to conform to what the society expects and wants from you. Don’t wait until you retire, or until you get that next promotion. Don’t ever wait for permission. You don’t need an excuse, you don’t need “one last thing” before you can be free. Choose to be who you want to be. Simply accept to be who you really are. Give up everything else.

photo credit: Ernst Vikne Do you believe curiosity is a sin? I’m sure you’ve been told at least once that you should be less curious. But curiosity is a natural quality of every human being. You were born curious. Have you ever witnessed a toddler just going around and trying everything they possibly can, without fear of consequences? It’s beautiful, isn’t it? If you thought “it’s annoying”, it means you probably unconsciously formed the idea as a kid that if you are too curious, people will stop loving you. And if your parents stop loving you, they might abandon you, and you’ll die (not that fun anymore, right?). Being curious was a risk. So you “grew up”. Adam and Eve In the Book of Genesis, Adam and Eve are permitted to eat from any tree, but the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, “for on the day you eat of it you shall surely die”. From this point on, two things appear: the desire to know what is unknown and hidden, and the fear of death. While curiosity and fear are deeply linked to each other in the Scripture, as one exists only in relation to the other, they are also antagonist, as fully expressing one means fully suppressing the other. Fear Ultimately, fear is about avoiding the ultimate divine punishment: death. It is a primal feeling, based on previous experiences, meant as a warning for dangerous situations, which could lead to pain, whether physical or emotional. It is…

photo credit: knickinoptik It’s always the same. Your body is there, but your heart longs for something else. You want to belong, but whatever you do, a little something’s not right. If people around don’t reject you, you reject yourself to escape the heavy feeling of disconnection. Have you ever wondered why you were different? You tend to question what others take for granted. You challenge the status quo, what’s expected of you, by your parents, your teachers, your peers. Maybe you just look different, think different, feel different. You want to connect with people, but deep inside, you don’t want to compromise who you are. After years of trying, one day you realize you are The Ugly Duckling, in a family, an environment where you don’t belong. I know I have. The Ugly Duckling could swim, but in his community of ducks, he was rejected, he was too ugly, too different. Everything is a matter of perspective, but there, he couldn’t be who he was. He fought it at first, denying the ugly truth, trying to fake his way into this mold, trying to fit in so that the others ducks could accept him as one of their own. Humans act in the same manner. Being rejected is almost always painful, and sometimes it seems they’re no alternative to choose. It happened to you, almost by magic, one day, the misalignment got too strong. Tired and frustrated with all the efforts you put in that public life, you left…